Last summer it was wedding central, but this year I seem to have a bunch of them jam packed into the Fall season. I thought about this blog after my roommate, pictured with her husband Tom, got married and their relationship was catapulted into a level I never saw before. They have made each other laugh, scream, cry and many other emotions over the past 11 years but it all came together and made sense when they got married September 6, 2008.
So, with all this wedding hoopla I have spent quite some time talking about love and life with a lot of people and what the future holds for not only me, but them… I had a lot of the- who’s the right one conversations recently and one of the best ones and most surprising ones was with Tom just days before their wedding. After being with Jodie for 11 years, I asked him what it was that made him know she was “The One”. Simply put, Tom said, “I love her, she makes me laugh, we put up with each other’s vices, she’s Jodie – come on, who doesn’t love her and I have her!” And at that moment, I realized that Jodie and Tom have the love everyone wants – the one that has stood the test of time, through their breakups and make ups at the end of the day they are still madly in love with each other. Right then and there, I was the most happy I have been for Jodie in my entire life!
I have been living with Tom and Jodie for quite some time, Jodie 4 years and Tom unofficially 2 years (more so as their house get rehabbed). They might shoot me for writing about them, but nothing too much revealed. But living with them I went through a lot of their relationship and saw it all come together on their magical night. So, after thinking about it all and seeing how happy they were I truly believe what my Mom always tells me – “Love is crazy, love is passionate, love can be your worst enemy but if it’s the one no matter what you go through you go through it together and at the end of the day you can get into bed with them and want nothing more than to intertwine your feet and take in their scent.”
That simply put is my outlook on love. I am a lover and a giver, so being optimistic is what I do best in a relationship – I can be oh so angry and bitter one minute and love you the next. I want what Jodie has - a true soul mate. But, do I think we all have one soul mate –NO! I’ve been in love before and am in love now but each time it was slightly different. I love this quote from Elizabeth Gilbert, “ People think your soul mate is your perfect match and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, a person who shows you everything you are holding back. The person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you will meet in your life because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.”
Why do I love that quote??? Because I think it has truth to it. My past soul mates that have come in and out of my life showed me something, a side of me I may not have ever known. Forced me face things I didn’t want to, pushed me to scale a mountain in Mexico, allowed me to discover a new country and city on my own and much much more. Without them, I wouldn’t have done that- I wouldn’t have tore down my walls I built to protect myself from being hurt. They wouldn’t have allowed me to let new and undiscovered aspects of my life in. They showed me true pain and pleasure all at once.
I have no idea when/which soul mate is the one – and a billion people can give you advice on love and you just don’t listen to it until you are ready…so maybe it’s all about being ready who knows. For Tom and Jodie it took 11 years but they are more happy now then I have ever seen them! I do know I want a love that challenges me and makes me laugh, but at the end of the day it’s just us is this hectic world and I wouldn’t want anything more…and to Jodie and Tom who have found that!
PS. The bear is Gilby, their baby that has been with them since the beginning. He's sort of a phenomenon.
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