Dog Park Days

Having a dog means you scout out good dog parks. Here in Cincinnati, we have quite a few. The new upscale Wags out in Batavia, Otto Armleder near Lunken and then other smaller parks scattered across the city. I have not been to Wags yet, but with an annual fee over $300 and being more than a 30 minutes drive from my house odds are I may never make it. I frequent the Otto Armleder park, it's free, clean, big and about 10 minutes from my house.

With the weather warming the dog park has been jumping (no pun intended). I've begun to notice common trends each time I go there that I find funny. So here you go, things to be aware of if you go to a dog park:

1. Make sure I get plastic at the grocery store. These are free pooper scoopers which in the end makes it earth friendly! In the summer the “supply” provided is always empty. I don’t want to be the as$h%le that doesn’t pick up her dogs’s biz and casually looks the other way as if engaged in the birds flying overhead. Nothing is worse than running through dog poop or even worse, your dog rolling in it.
   


2. Create an escape plan from the single men that go there purely to hit on women.You know who you are. Every time you encourage your dog to play with mine or another woman standing alone and then walk over and strike up a conversation. This without fail turns into “you live around here” sort of situation. If you know me, I’m nice, I don’t like to be rude and I tend to fall into this trap. Two hours later I’m the girl faking a phone call to escape. I need to have a plan.



3. Prepare an avoidance plan from #2 when you see them immediately upon your next entrance (because you have for sure disclosed when you come to the dog park and they now have your schedule).



4. Remember dog names better. Every time I go the same dogs are there with the same owners and Chili, like me, appreciates a friendly face. She will run up to the dog, chase them around and off they go. Which leads to conversation with the owner and they always remember Chili’s name…and I am the jerk saying, what’s your dog’s name again?



5. KNEES BENT I’ve seen people be taken out on stretchers and knocked on their butts. Chili has a really bad habit of running into the back of people’s legs – which has caused quite a stir when she took out some chick once, I felt bad, but it’s a dog park – KNEES BENT and be alert.



6. Let dogs be dogs. They growl, bite, drool, wrestle and much more…it’s all part of the game. It’s like a bar, if a real fight is brewing, other dogs will circle and then you know to pull your buddy away. I don’t like people who are too concerned when their dog growls or wrestle and immediately pulls their dog away and gives you a mean look. Clearly rookies!

So, to my long afternoons where a strong wind blows in the scent of overheated dog poop, dog drool on my pants is the norm and strategically avoiding people is my M.O.